The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier is a fantastic book for managers, leaders, and anyone who has regular conversations at work. This easy-to-read book provides practical tips and strategies for having more meaningful and productive dialogues.
I recently finished reading The Coaching Habit and wanted to share my key takeaways and actionable advice from the book. Here’s what stuck with me.
Summary:
The main premise of The Coaching Habit is that we often give advice when we should be asking curious questions instead. By asking the right questions and actively listening, you allow others to find their own solutions.
Some of the key coaching questions highlighted in the book include:
- What’s on your mind?
- And what else?
- What’s the real challenge here for you?
- What do you want?
- How can I help?
These simple but thought-provoking questions open up conversations and lead to more meaningful interactions.
My Favourite Takeaways:
Paraphrasing Bungay Stanier: managers are too quick to hand out advice, and that habit gets in the way of finding the real problem. This resonated with me because I often jump in too quickly to solve problems when coaching my team.
His related point, again paraphrased: if you fill every gap with your own suggestions, you end up taking your team’s work back onto your own plate. I need to step back and give my people room to share what’s on their minds.
I also liked how simple the habit is: ask a good question, stay quiet long enough to hear the answer, and resist jumping to a solution. The book builds this around seven questions, adding two to the five above: “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?” and “What was most useful for you?”
Who Should Read The Coaching Habit:
This book would benefit new managers looking to transition from an individual contributor role to leading teams. It’s also an excellent refresher for experienced managers who want tips for improving their conversational capability.
Coaches and mentors can apply these practical coaching skills as well. And anyone aspiring to leadership should add The Coaching Habit to their reading list too.
Recommendation and Call to Action:
I highly recommend The Coaching Habit to anyone who regularly has conversations, meetings, one-on-ones, and interviews. The easy-to-use coaching model will elevate your communication skills.
Try asking the questions for one week and see what happens. You may be surprised by how much you learn about your people by listening first.
If you want to read it yourself, The Coaching Habit is available in paperback, ebook and audio. (That link is an affiliate link, so this site may earn a small commission if you buy through it, at no extra cost to you.)
About the Author:
Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that helps organisations build coaching habits in their managers.
A Rhodes Scholar at Oxford and Canada’s first Coach of the Year, he has become a leading voice in coaching. His other books include Do More Great Work, The Advice Trap and How to Work with (Almost) Anyone. Michael’s powerful insights and practical wisdom have made him a highly sought-after keynote speaker too.
If you’ve read The Coaching Habit, I’d like to hear which question stuck with you. Leave a comment below.
Written by Michael Wignall, who’s spent 30+ years in banking and home lending, including leading a team of home lenders across three regions of NSW.
More on this topic is collected in the Leadership & Productivity Hub.
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Written by Michael Wignall, Lending Area Manager with 30+ years in banking and home lending across the ACT, Illawarra, and Riverina. Got a question or an idea for a post? Get in touch.
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